February 3, 2021

Valentine’s Day is coming up, which means LOTS of love in the air. If you want to set a little at-home Valentine’s Day activity, consider this idea. Spend one hour together with a glass of wine, some romantic tunes and a lit scented candle in the middle of the room. Grab a note book (not computer, or you’ll get distracted) and start writing your vows together, but obviously separate (if they’re supposed to be a surprise). It will kick start the writing process but you’ll be in the mood to say how you feel because we’re near the most romantic holiday of the year!

The real reason we bring this up is we’ve heard a lot of vows in our wedding planning journey. Some of our favorite vows are those that are written by the couple because they are personalized and really showcase the love of the couple. While all vows are special in their own way, we have started collecting some suggestions for things to consider while writing your vows, to make your “perfect verbal commitment” to one another.

Content

There are so many ways to go about picking what content to say in your vows. We suggest talking through the general order and flow so the vows are cohesive but not the same. Below are a few suggestions of content but you’re welcome to add/remove subjects or even move around the content based on your personality.

• How you met and what you remember when first meeting (keep this brief)
• Favorite memories together (example: one funny, one sentimental)
• Why you love each other (discuss if you want to bullet point or elaborate on these characteristics)
• Vows: “I vow to support you through tough times” etc. (this is a great place to implement number of vows/sentences you want to say)

Length

Have you ever heard vows where one person reads for a few minutes and then their partner only reads for 30 seconds? While we don’t think the vows have to be the exact same length, we do think they should be somewhat comparable so both individuals feel the same amount of commitment and love within. We don’t recommend comparing the time length of the vows because when you’re looking into your fiancé’s eyes, knowing it’s your wedding day, you will never read it at the same speed as when you practiced before. Instead, we suggest considering the number of sentences. Once again, this does not have to be exact. But if you say you want your vows to be between 10-14 sentences, regardless of the content, that will probably feel like a similar length.

How you’re presenting your vows

There are many ways you can read your vows. We recommend using the same option for both partners so it’s cohesive. If one individual does not want to physically read anything and wing it, then the other individual can pick how they wish to read (options are below). Although we all know how hard it can be to recite vows without any props!

1. “Repeat After Me”: Officiant reads the vows under his/her breathe, the couple repeats after
2. Vow Books: Few page books that are made specifically for writing vows. We suggest writing the drafts on other paper and then copying the final draft in the vow books, so it’s cleaner. There are many great options on Etsy.
3. Piece of notebook paper: One of the more traditional approaches by using your everyday lined paper. Keep into consideration if your ceremony is outside, this could be a distracting/windy option unless if you have a padfolio/folder (see next line).
4. Pad-folio/folder: Very often, officiants hold their papers for the ceremony in some sort of folder or padfolio. Your officiant can also hold on to the hand written or typed vows and hand the entire book to you to read.
5. Note Cards: These are not our favorite option because there’s a chance you can mix up the notecards, lose or forget one, flip the wrong direction mid-ceremony, or even the writing may be too small. All that being said, note cards are common because they can easily fit inside a jacket pocket or clutch. It also brings back childhood memories if you met your partner when you were little (notecards were “a thing” in school) If you’re planning on writing your vows the day of the wedding, this could be a good option.
6. Cell Phone: Please don’t! 🙂 We know this is an option but we feel it loses some of the sentimental value. Also, having a paper copy of your vows is a nice photo opportunity and you can keep those forever.

Dos

• Hold your fiancé’s hand while reading vows, if you can
• Mix in some light hearted humor among the sentimental notes
• Keep an extra [electronic] copy of your vows in case you forget them on wedding day. You can then re-write or print out at your venue before the ceremony starts
• Consider asking a friend to proof read both
• Stay calm. Keep your eyes on your partner and forget anyone else is in the room

Do Nots

• Talk about past relationships or negative stories
• Talk too much about a friend/family member, vows should be about the couple
• Lose the final copy of your vows, you could get them framed or typed up after as a memorabilia
• Forget to say “I Love You”

If anyone has any questions or additional tips about writing your vows, feel free to reach out! We would love to hear from you.

Photos by: Sarah Anne Photography | Sam & Sola Studio

-Ohana Events